We started four soldiers down one end of the road.
Doctor Proust and Marius came by cart. Proust was tooled up with his new-fangled witch disintegrator gun.
Major Magnos forsook the rest of his forces and simply accompanied his new girlfriend. It was a decision they would both soon come to regret for the rest of their very brief lives.
As for the other four soldiers. They could have pitched camp and started making rabbit stew for all the effect they had on the battle. First rule of leadership: have someone to lead.
Meanwhile, Perro and two of his angry villagers hid in the forest, while Lady Dunwood and her late husband stayed with the rest of the mob in the centre.
The first band of soldiers make their way across the bridge and see the Dunwoods and the villagers.
Magnos and Kiera are ambushed. Her screams are futile and Perro cuts her down ruthlessly. The rest of the mob pile on Magnos.
The other villagers charge the soldiers on the bridge before they even get the chance to fire.
Lord Dunwood piles in to face Magnos in what would have been the climactic battle had it not happened right at the beginning. Magnos cuts him down.
The soldiers are no match for the villagers.
Lady Dunwood goes to greet Proust and Marius. Proust shoots his Witch Disintegrator Gun at her which promptly blows itself up. 15 Ratings down the drain.
Marius bravely tries to take on Lady Dunwood and manages to wound her.
Meanwhile Major Magnos has to face Perro and his gang. In the movie he dispatches them all in about 7 frames. But this isn't the movies. This is real life.
Lady Dunwood hypnotises Marius and turns him to her evil will. It's surely only a matter of time for Doctor Proust.
And although he kills Perro, Magnos is cut down by the rabid mob.